I’ve discovered a new site collarme.com. I really like that name, to me it implies a challenge that to collar me would be the triumph of my partner. That is what I want BDSM to be, a triumph of the dominant personality.
I understand that some women (and men) are naturally submissive, but I am not. I do not derive pleasure from pleasing others, I do not get pleasure from serving. Submission is an experiment for me. I want to learn what it feels like to submit. But I am not naturally inclined to. I need a Dom / Domme that understands this. That will thrive off of the challenge, rise to it and conquer it.
I met “Uberconan” on collarme. He seemed to have a good sense of humour, be well educated, and possibly pre-disposed to the challenge.
We agreed to meet, met, drank, walked back to his very nice condo. He is educated, articulate, sure of himself, but not over-confident or cocky. All good signs.
After a couple of drinks he had me lie down and try his ‘massaging’ sofa. Then, quickly maneuvered me between his legs, glasses, necklace, sweater, bra off. He began with my hands behind my neck. I liked this and found it hard to control. Especially as he would pull me off balance.
From there he proceeded with pain. He pinched my nipples (a huge turn on, especially followed by sucking), hit me with his belt, spanked me, struck me with a wooden rod, and slapped my face.
The wooden rod, especially on the feet was the big turn off.
I’m not entirely sure that any of these particular acts was a ‘turn off’. In the sense that they did not decrease my desire to have sex. However, with all pain and no pleasure they did not increase my desire for sex. Pain I have found out makes me want to retaliate. I want to hit the person back, a good reason to tie my hands (which he did). I am not motivated to please from the pain.
The logical connection that if I pleased him I may not feel pain was not distinct as I did not feel a ‘carrot’ with the ‘stick’ so to speak. I was also worried about marks being left on my body.
If I think about it, I would rather have a man who ties me up and fucks me really hard, than one who slaps me around and can’t fuck.
Yes, that again was the other problem. I don’t know if it was performance anxiety, too much wine, or me not getting off on the pain. In any event he was not ‘up’ for the event. I have this huge bias against men who cannot preform on command. I expect a dominant man to be ever ready.
If a man is going to control me by threat, the threat of imminent forceful penetration over me is much more powerful to me than then pain. I am not threatened with a flaccid penis. If you want me to bend to your will an imminent fucking that I do feel I’m wet enough for will do much more than a rod to the backside.
All this being said I quite enjoyed being spanked, pinched, slapped and stuck although I do feel that I would rise to the occasion more should a carrot be dangled in front of me.
The question is what carrot?
Tags: Anonymous Sex, BDSM, flogging, fucking, pain, pain slut, rough sex, sex, spanking
